Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Dodging Bullets

I used the term "dodging the bullet" recently in a couple of conversations with me mum and mum-in-law. the topic of conversation was the unexpected turn of events where I was given VERY short notice that I was to go to Afghanistan and see what good can be done there.

Ok... it was probably an inappropriate choice of words at the time.

Today, however, it seems a bit fitting.

The trip to Afghanistan, the trip on which I was to embark on Monday, has been canceled.

Bullets have been dodged.

I was once placed on a team I did not enjoy... the advantage to being placed on that team was, at the time, that I would be the sole operator in a separate country in another continent and would only have limited contact with the people I was struggling to get along with. We eventually bonded on superficial terms to the point where we could work with one another effectively, but there was this one individual who always seemed to be at odds with me. I never could quite figure out what it was that he disliked, but decided it was his bridge to cross and I'd continue to be Tim, and he could learn to accept that for what it is.

I bring this up because at the dissolving of that team, I forget what exactly happened, he said (edited for younger ears), "Tim, you're the kind of guy who can fall into a pile of [excrement] and come out clean."

I think about this a lot.


I think back to all of the times when I've been in a pinch, the times J and I have been in a bind, the times when everything has gone in the opposite direction of where we'd like them to go.

He's right.

I have enormous gratitude to many of you readers who have been my net through those times. I have immeasurable love for my wife for bearing with me through those bumps. I have no words to describe the unseen powers of God whose hands have most definitely touched the lives of my family through the years.

Since I was a kid, around the time I got that scar in my neck and realized how close I was to not being around here to make snarky posts on the internet, that God has a plan for all of us. I stopped a long time back asking for God to give me things. I don't ask for patience, I don't ask for help, I don't ask him to keep me awake on the road when I'm driving past my bedtime. I only pray to thank Him. I thank him every day for being that guiding post in my life, I thank Him for having a purpose for me, I thank Him for my family, my health, for walking beside me or carrying me when I don't deserve it.

I know if I was to go out this time that He would be there. I know that if I stay, He will be there. I know that go or stay, I will live my life as He has seen long before I was even a thought on this world. He knew my entire life before I got here, when and where I'd be born, where I'd go, how I'd live my life, how, when and where I'd finally leave this earth. I cannot pretend to think that I could ever change that. He knows all, He cannot be wrong. We are in His hands all the time.

If I'm meant to stay here, it is for His reasons. If I were to go, it would be for His reasons. I would fulfill His plans for this world wherever I was or wherever I will go.

I don't thank God tonight for "dodging the bullets" in Afghanistan. I thank God tonight for the good weather we had today, the smiles on my children's faces, and the tears of joy on my wife's face when she heard the news.

Send me where you will, I am here, I am yours, I'm enjoying the ride.

Thanks for letting me play.

1 comment:

The WilsonFam said...

That was very deep and moving, I am so glad to here that you are staying put with the family.